Unexplained Infertility 

When I would post (on Facebook) my occasional reminder to all of how hurtful it may be to question a woman about her plans (or lack of) for children, I had NO idea of what was to come for me. I was just fed up with people asking if I was pregnant or when I was going to have a baby. Despite my age, and multiple growths of uterine fibroids and polyps, I was hopeful that I would one day give birth to a baby. Then I became the 1 in 4. One of the 10-15% of women who suffer a miscarriage. I would soon learn that the difficulty I had getting (and staying) pregnant would be labeled as unexplained infertility. There was no explanation for me. No menstrual problems, no ovulation issues, no PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), no endometriosis, and no fibroids (eventually). But ultimately, NO SUCCESS. What an emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical roller coaster this process has been! 

Now, you may be wondering why I have gone from a woman who only posts teacher and music- related things to literally baring my most intimate self. My simple answer is to help. Infertility is such a taboo topic, and even more so in the African American community. I want my experience to be an offering of myself as a resource and ally to women who may be suffering in silence like I was. Throughout my journey, close family and friends were very supportive and as encouraging as they could be, but there was nobody who could really relate and truly empathize with my situation.

So here I am, on a different journey, one of reflection and healing. I have wondered if someone in my small circle has gone through something similar but never felt comfortable enough to speak about it. So I open myself up to women who are embarrassed, self-pitying, depressed, confused, angry, self-blaming, anxious, bitter, in denial, feeling guilty, pessimistic or just hurt by the insensitive comments and questions from others regarding their bodies. To those women I say, I have been in your shoes and I am here, willing to walk with you or hold your hand through your journey.

It is time to have an open and honest dialogue about infertility, single motherhood by choice, and fostering/ adoption. While I can't speak to every woman in my situation one on one, I can share my experiences, research, and encouragement. I didn't birth my baby, so I birthed my blog. Share it with someone.